Roll Call: August 17 - 23, 2026
FIFTH AMONG HEROES: CURVECAP, THE ENDURANCE TIDE
From the fifth rank, where endurance burns bright,
Comes CurveCap, whose footsteps devour the night!
One hundred sixty-five thousand strides he made,
A marching legion that would not be swayed!
Through seven days his steady footfalls trod,
Twenty-three thousand steps—a gift from god!
His resting heart stayed steady through the week,
VO2 max at fifty-four—the summit he would seek!
He swam one thousand two hundred sixty meters clear,
Six hundred fifty-nine strokes drove through the water’s sphere!
Then fifty-three minutes cycling, six hundred fifty-four calories spent,
And kayak strokes on Friday where the river currents went!
His fitness age, a mere thirty-five years,
While lesser souls would drown in their own tears!
No sauna logged—the week was spent instead,
In motion, where endurance crowned his head!
He pressed the bench and curled the iron bar,
His strength concealed beneath a modest star!
But know this truth—his engine never stalls,
He marches on when mighty warriors fall!
FOURTH AMONG HEROES: JONES, THE RARESTONE COMPASS
Now fourth, the Rarestone Compass guides our way,
Jones, who builds his fortress day by day!
With rest-pause sets that push through iron gates,
His measured pace no enemy abates!
The machine incline, the chest press steel,
Each movement planned with purpose, firm and real!
Two sets, then rest-pause—torment sweet and slow,
He bends the metal to his will, you know!
His legs on Wednesday—hack squat’s crushing weight,
Leg curls and extensions seal his fate!
The RDL’s stretch, the ab machine’s grind,
No single fiber left unclaimed behind!
Then Friday comes, the free-weight holy war,
Bench press and pull-ups, overhead and more!
Drop sets descend like thunder from the sky,
While cable pushdowns make the triceps cry!
Seventeen thousand steps each day he walks,
And on the echo bike, his spirit talks!
Five sprints of four hundred—burning fast,
His cardio a fortress meant to last!
He rests when needed, plans his sacred week,
No random chaos makes his body weak!
The sauna’s heat completes his warrior rite—
Jones builds his strength by day, recovers night!
THIRD AMONG HEROES: BATTMAN, THE WEIGHTED KNIGHT
Now third, the Battman rises from the dark,
With weighted moves and rings that leave his mark!
His air bike hums a fifteen-minute song,
One hundred fifty-six calories strong!
He works in bodyweight, then adds the load,
Twenty-five pounds on hollow-hold—a code!
Three sets of V-ups, Russian twists in pain,
His core a fortress forged in fire and rain!
His hamstring curls from seventy to one-ten,
Leg extensions follow—he begins again!
Grip strength measured, left one-oh-eight,
Right one-oh-three—no warrior can equate!
The chin-ups weighted twenty pounds, then more,
Feet elevated push-ups to the floor!
Inverted rows with twenty on his frame,
Bayesian curls—he plays a brutal game!
On Thursday, L-sits hold him still and true,
Hanging leg raises—eighteen, then he’s through!
Kneeling cable crunches, one-fifty to two-hundred,
His core a fortress, never to be plundered!
Friday’s dips—he straps on fifty-five,
Then tucked ring pull-ups, making tendons thrive!
Pike push-ups, hammer curls with forty weight,
Preacher curls and rope pushdowns—his fate!
Battman out! But know this warrior’s creed:
He builds his strength with every single need!
No flashy boast, just iron in his soul—
The Battman’s power is built to meet his goal!
SECOND AMONG HEROES: REKTDIOMEDES, THE GRAPPLING STORM
Now second comes the storm of grappling art,
RektDiomedes, who plays a fearless part!
Thirteen thousand steps each day he strode,
While MMA and BJJ he proudly showed!
Two MMA classes, then two BJJ in flow,
An hour of open sparring where he puts his skill on show!
Thirty-five sets of lifting, heavy steel,
He builds the strength that makes his rivals reel!
Four days he ran for twenty to thirty minutes strong,
His engine roaring like a battle-song!
He weaves the grappling mat with iron might,
Then runs the pavement in the fading light!
His body learns to flow and strike and bend,
A weapon forged that will not break or bend!
Two martial arts, the iron, and the road,
A disciplined and varied weekly load!
Each class a lesson, each spar a test,
RektDiomedes will not settle for less!
He is the storm that breaks upon the shore,
The grappler’s grace, the runner’s endless roar!
In second place, but know this truth profound:
His fury makes the very earth resound!
FIRST AMONG HEROES: SPENCER420, THE IRON TITAN
And now the first—Spencer420, the king,
Whose feats of iron make the heavens ring!
From Zercher squats that test the bravest frame,
To weighted ring dips that prove his pressing game!
Two hundred seventy-five paused, three reps deep,
The barbell bends, the muscles learn to sleep!
Then reverse lunges, one-fifty-five to two-oh-five,
He carries mountains while the weak ones strive!
Box jumps at forty-eight—three, four, then four,
Then clean-pull triples raise the ceiling more!
The weighted pull-ups—one hundred pounds, almost three,
Then sixty-five for nearly eight, a test of gravity!
The preacher curls at one-oh-five, eight times,
While archer pulls ascend to higher climes!
Ring dips with fifty, then sixty more,
RTO ring dips—he has opened every door!
Ring-trainer handstand push-ups—he stands,
A titan built with superhuman hands!
The camber bench at two-twenty-five, three strong,
Then two-oh-five for six—the pressing song!
Weighted dips and cable triceps complete the test,
His chest and triceps earn no easy rest!
On Wednesday, archer pull-ups—four sets of six,
Then cable rows at nine and twelve plates mix!
His tibialis raises, sixty to seventy pounds,
While serratus holds make lesser warriors frown!
From Monday’s legs to Sunday’s final pull,
His week is full, his spirit never null!
Two hundred seventy-five on Zercher’s throne,
He lifts the world and claims it as his own!
THE CLOSING CHORUS
Five warriors stand, from fifth to first in line,
Each forged in fire, each with strength divine!
CurveCap’s endurance, Jones’s patient might,
Battman’s weighted fury, Diomedes’ fight!
But Spencer420 ascends the highest peak,
Whose iron feats make even titans weak!
From sprints to squats, from dips to heavy rows,
His body answers every call and grows!
So hear this call, ye warriors of the age,
Let none despair behind this mighty stage!
For each has earned a place in glory’s song,
And each will make the weak and weary strong!
The battle comes—the iron and the mat,
The road, the pool, the ring—imagine that!
With Spencer first, and all five side by side,
No force on earth can turn this rising tide!
Five warriors, their week of work is done,
The ranks are set beneath the rising sun!
Let every rep and every stride proclaim:
These warriors earned their place within the game!
The Rankings
1. Spencer420
2. RektDiomedes
3. Battman
4. Jones | Rarestone Compass
5. CurveCap
The Attestations
#1 — Spencer420
Monday Push and pull Weighted Dips(weak as hell) 90-1, 115-1, 135-fail, fail, 90- Cable rows superset wide pull-ups 10plates-14+3, 12-9+4, 9+4 Barrel dumbbell press 55-9,8,8 Rear shoulder flies 90-15, 100-15, 110-15
Tuesday Arms Blaster curl 50-14, 45-22, double arm full sup-40-12 Overhead rope cable tri 120-6, 130-8, 8, 115-12 Archer rear shoulder pulls 30-10, 10, 40-6 Cable row bicep curls 2 plates-8, 3-8, 4-10, 11, 3-12 Dumbbell skullcrusher 35-10, 9, 8 Light preacher curl 65-14, 12, 10 Cable pushdowns tri v bar 130-13, 11, 10
Wed Recovery
Thursday Sprint max speed 20.4, 19.6, 20.7, 20.6, 19.6 Box jump 48 in-3+fail, 3, 5+fail Hyper bench side crunch 70-11, 11 Hanging leg raise weighted rings 12-6, 7, 6 Tibialis raise 60-16, 13 Nordic hammy 6, 7 Leg ext 200-10, 9
Friday Push Incline camber neutral bench 225-3, 185-10 Pelican pushup rings weighted vest 6, 11, 10 Heat fly machine 200-7, 195-7 Low to high cable fly 40-9, 8
Saturday Weighted pull-ups 100-2.8, 55-9 Archer cable pulls 30-8, 42.5-8, 8 Chest supp dumbbell rows 40-8, 60-14, 70-11, Low back ghd extensions No weight 2 sets-cooldown stretch kinda
Monday Aug 17 Legs Paused Zercher squats 275-3, 3 Reverse lunge 155-5, 185-5, 205-5 Tibialis raise 60-19, 70-12
Tuesday Push Dumbell incline press 90-5, 100-4.5+2 spotted, 90-9 Ring dips weighted 50-5, 60-3 RTO ring dips 5 Ring trainer handstand pushups 8, 9, 10 Overhead cable rope tri 100-12, 140-7, 130-7, 120-7
Wed Pull and wakeboard (20 min boat set) Archer pull-ups 6, 6, 6, 6 Cable rows 9plates-10, 12 plates-8 Archer rear shoulder cable pulls 20-10, 30-12, 10
Thurs High explosive clean pulls (triples) 235-3, 265-3, 3 Sprints 5 lengths Box jump 48 in-3, 4, 4 Side crunch hyper bench 75-8, 8 Hanging leg raise rings weighted 8-10, 12-9 Serratus support hold raises -12
Friday Push Incline camber neutral bench 225-3 with spot last rep 205-6, 185-8 Weighted dips 100-6, 5, 90-8 Vbar overhead cable tri 120-6, 150-8, 8, 130-10 Lateral raise 25-5, 35-6, 30-10 Dumbbell skullcrusher 30-10, 8
Saturday Recovery
Sunday Weighted pullup 25-5, 45-3, 70-2, 90-1, 100-2.8, 65-7.9 Preacher curl 105-8, 100-8, 95-9 Sitting shrugs 75-10, 95-11, 10 Dbl arm full supinated blaster curl 35-8, 45-6, 40-8, 30-9 Archer cable pulls 20-10, 30-10, 40-9
#2 — RektDiomedes
Howdy gents! Here is my attestation for this week ending Sunday August 23rd 2026:
-Averaged 13k steps per day -Did 2 MMA classes -Did 2 BJJ classes -Did open gym sparring for an hour -Did 35 sets of lifting -Went running for 20-30 minutes on four days of week
#3 — Battman
I am Battman, and this is my week. Monday, August 17 Cardio Air bike 15 minutes 156 cal Av hr 110 max 131 Lower body workout 1 hr 20 minutes 301 calories Av hr 89 max 124 50 body weight squats Grip strength Left 108 Right 103 Weighted (25#) Hollow hold V ups 23 reps 3 sets Weighted (25#) Russian twists 33 reps 3 sets Hamstring curls 70# 10 reps, 110# 10 reps,110# 10 reps, 70# 13 reps Weighted (25#) incline crunches 10 reps 2 sets Leg extensions 90# 10 reps, 90# 12 reps, 100# 12 reps Tuesday Cardio Air bike 15 minutes 128 calories Strength training 1 hr 37 minutes 354 calories 50 body weight squats Weighted (20#) Chin ups 8 reps, 20# 8 reps, body weight 8 reps Feet elevated (30”) weighted (20#) push ups 12 reps,10 reps, 9 reps Feet elevated (30”) weighted (20#) inverted rows 14 reps, 14 reps Bayesian bicep cable curls 60# 7 reps 3 sets Tricep push down 80# 10 reps,100# 11 reps, 100# 11 reps Thursday Cardio Air bike 15 minutes 138 calories Lower body workout 1 hr 24 minutes 370 calories L sit hold 3 sets Hamstring curls 90# 12 reps, 105# 12 reps, 105# 12 reps Hanging leg raises 18 reps 2 sets Kneeling cable crunches 150# 20 reps, 200# 15 reps, 200# 15 reps Friday Cardio Air bike 15 minutes 178 calories Strength training 1 hr 40 minutes 341 calories 50 body weight squats Weighted dips 25# 4 reps, 55# 8 reps, 55# 8 reps, 25# 13 reps Tucked rings pull ups 8 reps, 7 reps, 6 reps Pike push ups 6 reps, 5 reps Cross body hammer curls 40# dumbbells 24 reps, 24 reps, 35# 40 reps Preacher curls 55# 12 reps, 65# 12 reps Rope handle tricep push downs 100# 12 reps That’s my week. Battman out
#4 — Jones | Rarestone Compass
Aug 17 - Aug 23
Monday Rest day
Tuesday Upper body workout (machine focused)
SM incline bench: 2 sets + rest pause set row machine (pin loaded): 2 sets + rest pause set Chest press machine (pin loaded) with neutral grip: 2 sets + rest pause set Shrugs: 2 sets Shoulder press machine (pin loaded): 1 set + rest pause set Rear delt cable flys: 2 sets Cable overhead tricep extensions: 2 sets + rest pause set preacher curls ùachine: 2 Sets
Wednesday Leg day
Leg curls: 2 sets + RP set Leg extensions: 2 sets + RP set Hip Ad/Abductor machine superset: 2 sets hack squat: 2 sets RDL: 2 sets Ab machine: 2 sets
Thursday rest day
Friday Upper body workout (free weight focused)
Bench press: 2 sets Pull ups: 2 sets + drop set Overhead press: 2 sets Machine row (upper back focused): 2 sets + RP set Chest fly machine: 1 set + RP set Rear delt cable flys: 2 sets Cable pushdowns with bench: 2 sets + drop set Machine curls (pin): 2 sets + drop set
Saturday Cardio + sauna
10min of echo bike 20min of cycling 20min of incline walking
Sunday Cardio + sauna
5x 400m sprints/2min walk on 1.5% incline
Averaging around 17k steps/day
#5 — CurveCap
WEEKLY HEALTH ATTESTATION Week of Aug. 16, 2026 through Aug. 22, 2026
WEEKLY SUMMARY ============= • Active Calories: 8497 kcal total (1214 avg/day) • Steps: 165,957 total, 23,708 avg/day - 164.5 km total, 23.5 km avg/day • Resting HR: 50.7 ± 1.6 bpm, VO2 Max 54, Fitness Age 35
DAILY BREAKDOWN =============== Aug. 16, 2026 (Sunday) • Active Calories: 1038/3126 kcal • Steps: 26,654 (24.8 km) • Resting HR: 53 bpm • Tracked Activities: (none)
Aug. 17, 2026 (Monday) • Active Calories: 1046/3134 kcal • Steps: 21,730 (20.5 km) • Resting HR: 52 bpm • Tracked Activities: 1. Strength Training (bench press, sit up, curls): 37min, 136 cal, 81 avg HR
Aug. 18, 2026 (Tuesday) • Active Calories: 1391/3479 kcal • Steps: 8,630 (8.4 km) • Resting HR: 50 bpm • Tracked Activities: 1. Indoor Cycling: 53min, 654 cal, 141 avg HR 2. Lap Swimming: 659 strokes, 1.26 km, 41min, 389 cal, 132 avg HR 3. Strength Training (sit up, lateral raises, curls, pull up, rows): 1h 10min, 283 cal, 84 avg HR
Aug. 19, 2026 (Wednesday) • Active Calories: 999/2527 kcal • Steps: 22,281 (22.9 km) • Resting HR: 50 bpm • Tracked Activities: (none)
Aug. 20, 2026 (Thursday) • Active Calories: 1546/3634 kcal • Steps: 32,943 (32.8 km) • Resting HR: 49 bpm • Tracked Activities: (none)
Aug. 21, 2026 (Friday) • Active Calories: 1238/3326 kcal • Steps: 27,331 (29.1 km) • Resting HR: 49 bpm • Tracked Activities: 1. Kayaking: 2.84 km, 52min, 228 cal, 86 avg HR
Aug. 22, 2026 (Saturday) • Active Calories: 1239/3327 kcal • Steps: 26,388 (26.1 km) • Resting HR: 52 bpm • Tracked Activities: (none)
Sauna 0/7 days 🥶