Roll Call: August 3 - 9, 2026
FIFTH AMONG HEROES: JONES, THE RARESTONE COMPASS
Jones held true north through August days,
Sixteen thousand steps mapped out his ways.
He rested Monday, gathering his force,
Then Tuesday's machines resumed the course.
SM incline presses, loaded rows, chest press,
Farmer walks and shrugs put grip to test.
Shoulders, rear delts, triceps joined the strain,
While preacher curls closed out the upper chain.
Wednesday brought leg curls and leg press might,
Extensions, hip work, RDLs done right.
On Friday bench and pull-ups led the fray,
With rows and arms to close the lifting day.
Then Sunday found the treadmill set to rise,
Five four-hundreds tested lungs and thighs.
Two-minute walks gave each hard sprint its frame,
The Compass kept his bearing through the flame.
FOURTH AMONG HEROES: CURVECAP, THE DISTANCE FORGE
CurveCap took fourth with miles beneath his tread,
And seven sauna days with waves of heat ahead.
With 119,928 steps laid down,
And 107.8 kilometers of ground.
His active burn reached 7,546,
His resting heart averaged 49.6.
VO2 at fifty marked the engine's tone,
A fitness age of thirty-five was shown.
Sunday brought two jogs and lifting in their train,
Monday added strength, then roadwork once again.
Tuesday's cycle burned five-ninety-one,
Then Wednesday's hour of strength work was done.
Thursday's cross-country course ran 12.73,
With ninety-two hard minutes running free.
Friday held two jogs with strength between,
A seven-day campaign, complete and clean.
THIRD AMONG HEROES: BATTMAN, THE WEIGHTED SHADOW
Four air-bike bouts began Battman's campaign,
Each fifteen minutes in the saddle's strain.
Monday's transformer front squat climbed the score,
One-fifty-five for six, with legs pressed more.
Tuesday brought two elevated drills in flight,
Push-ups met inverted rows at equal height.
Twenty-pound chin-ups, five by three, were won,
Then curls and cable triceps closed the run.
Thursday brought two dead hangs, long and hard,
Ninety seconds each before he crossed the yard.
Three hundred pounds went forty yards by sled,
Three sets of sixteen leg raises overhead.
Friday's weighted dips at fifty-five held fast,
Seven, seven, five, then thirteen bodyweight last.
Pike push-ups, chin-ups, curls, and crushers came,
The Weighted Shadow earned his third-place name.
SECOND AMONG HEROES: REKTDIOMEDES, THE STRIKING SPEAR
RektDiomedes tracked all seven days,
And kept his calories within his gaze.
One MMA class drilled the standing art,
One BJJ class played its grappling part.
Five home sessions drilled the striking art,
With partner work and solo rounds apart.
Forty lifting sets supplied the steel,
Each week of practice made the lessons real.
Six days of running, near two miles each day,
Carried the Striking Spear along his way.
His half-mile clock fell down to 3:41,
Proof that patient roadwork had been done.
Fourteen thousand five hundred steps each day,
Kept his feet advancing through the fray.
Second stood Diomedes, trained to fight,
With speed, endurance, grappling, iron might.
FIRST AMONG HEROES: SPENCER420, THE IRON PROPHET
Spencer opened with the Zercher paused and low,
At two-fifty-five through five hard sets in row.
Reverse lunges climbed to one-ninety-five for five,
While tib and calf work kept the frame alive.
Weighted dips reached one-fifteen for five,
Then ring handstand push-ups kept the press alive.
Overhead cable triceps hit one-forty for seven,
And rang across the gym like iron struck in heaven.
Weighted pull-ups nearly reached three at one hundred,
While preacher curls and heavy rows still thundered.
A forty-five-minute bath at one-twelve,
Gave wrists and forearms time to heal themselves.
Thursday's speed check hit a 21.1,
Before three rounds of box jumps had begun.
At forty-eight he scored three, three, then four,
Double-banded jumps supplied four sets more.
Friday's incline bench hit two-fifteen for five,
With rings and flies to keep the push alive.
Saturday he let recovery hold sway,
Then Zerchers rose to 322.5 next day.
Reverse lunges reached two hundred for five,
The Iron Prophet took the crown alive.
THE CLOSING CHORUS
Five warriors answered August's weekly call,
With miles, machines, and iron for them all.
Jones held his compass, CurveCap crossed the land,
While Battman drove the weighted sled by hand.
RektDiomedes struck, then ran his rounds,
As Spencer made the Zercher bar resound.
Give each his rank and let the record stand,
Five measured efforts from one iron band.
The Rankings
1. Spencer420
2. RektDiomedes
3. Battman
4. CurveCap
5. Jones | Rarestone Compass
The Attestations
#1 — Spencer420
Mon Aug 2 Paused Zercher squat 255-2, 2, 2, 2, 3 Reverse lunge 155-5, 185-5, 195-5 Tib raise 60-12, 12 Calf raise 270-16, 15
Tuesday Push and arms Weighted dips 70-5, 90-5, 115-5, 5 Ring handstand pushup 6, 8, 12 Overhead tri cable 100-10, 140-7, 130-9, 120-9
Wed Pull Weighted pull-ups 25-3, 45-3, 70-3, 90-1, 100-2.9, 55- Preacher curl 105-5, 95-6, 85-8 Forearms and wrists are fucked Cable wide grip rows 9 plates-10, 11-5, 13-8, 8 Recovery Hot bath 45 mins-112 degrees
Thursday Legs and abs Sprint max speed checks(only three-felt right hip flexor tweak) 21.1, 21, 21 Box jump 48-3, 3, 4 Double banded explosive jumps 4 sets Side hyper crunch 70-9, 8
Friday Push Incline camber neutral bench 215-5, 205-5, 5 Pelican pushups on ring trainer 5, 8, 10 Machine chest flies 150-8, 170-11, 11, 12 Dumbbell skullcruwher 30-12, 12
Saturday Recover day
Sunday Pause Zercher squat 295-1, 320-1, 322.5 Reverse lunge 155-5, 185-5, 200-5 Tibialis raise 65-11, 11 Calf raise 270-16, 15
#2 — RektDiomedes
Hey gents!
Here is my attestation for the week ending Sunday, August 9th, 2026
-Tracked calories all 7 days -Did 1 MMA class and 1 BJJ class -Did 5 days of at-home striking training (both partner drills and solo stuff) -Did 40 sets of lifting -Went for runs on 6 days, around two miles each (have now gotten my half-mile to 3:41, which is far from where I want to be ideally but WAY WAY ahead of where I was when I started running!) -Averaged 14.5k steps per day
#3 — Battman
I am Battman. This is my week. Monday August 3rd Cardio Air bike 15 minutes 100 calories Lower body training 1 hr 15 minutes Transformer bar front squats 105# 8 reps 125# 8 reps 155# 6 reps Leg press 210# 12 reps Leg curl 70# 12 reps Hamstring roller 4 reps Weighted (25#) incline crunches 12-14 reps 3 sets Tuesday Cardio Air bike 15 minutes 153 calories Av hr114 max 160 Strength training 1 hr 15 minutes 256 calories Av hr86 max105 50 body weight squats Superset-Feet elevated (30”) push-ups + Feet elevated (30”) inverted rows 15-17 reps 2 sets Weighted (20#) Chin ups 5 reps 3 sets + 1 body weight chin up 5 reps Laying bicep cable curls 110# 10-12 reps 2 sets Overhead cable tricep extension 80# 15 reps 70# 15 reps Thursday Cardio Air bike 15 minutes 135 calories Av hr 123 max 163 Core training 1 hr 24 minutes 395 calories Av hr 85 max 132 90 seconds dead hang 2 reps Sled push 300# 40 yards total Hanging leg raises 16 reps 3 sets 50 body weight squats Weighted (25#) incline crunches 12 reps, 8 reps Friday Cardio Air bike 15 minutes 164 calories Av hr 74 max 107 Strength training 1 hr 40 minutes 323 calories Av hr 84 max 111 50 body weight squats Weighted dips 55#- 7 reps, 55#- 7 reps, 55#- 5 reps, body weight 13 reps Pike push ups 7 reps 2 sets Chin ups 10 reps, 10 reps, 7 reps Bayesian cable curls 50# 11 reps 2 sets Cross body hammer curls 40# 24 reps 2 sets Dumbbell skull crushers 20# 12 reps Battman out
#4 — CurveCap
WEEKLY HEALTH ATTESTATION Week of Aug. 2, 2026 through Aug. 8, 2026
WEEKLY SUMMARY ============= • Profile: 176.3 ± 2.1 lbs, 6'1", 44 y.o. • Active Calories: 7546 kcal total (1078 avg/day) • Steps: 119,928 total, 17,133 avg/day - 107.8 km total, 15.4 km avg/day • Resting HR: 49.6 ± 0.8 bpm, VO2 Max 50, Fitness Age 35
DAILY BREAKDOWN =============== Aug. 02, 2026 (Sunday) • Active Calories: 1317/3405 kcal • Steps: 23,178 (21.0 km) • Resting HR: 49 bpm • Tracked Activities: 1. Jog: 5.39 km, 45min, (13:42 min/mile), 450 cal, 131 avg HR 2. Jog: 4.39 km, 50min, (18:31 min/mile), 463 cal, 129 avg HR 3. Strength Training (bench press, triceps extension, curls, pull up, rows): 41min, 165 cal, 92 avg HR
Aug. 03, 2026 (Monday) • Active Calories: 1224/3312 kcal • Steps: 12,813 (13.1 km) • Resting HR: 49 bpm • Tracked Activities: 1. Strength Training (bench press, push-ups, sit up, lateral raises, curls, pull up, squats, deadlift): 55min, 355 cal, 109 avg HR 2. Jog: 3.43 km, 24min, (11:38 min/mile), 260 cal, 136 avg HR
Aug. 04, 2026 (Tuesday) • Active Calories: 1069/3157 kcal • Steps: 12,800 (10.8 km) • Resting HR: 51 bpm • Tracked Activities: 1. Strength Training (sit up, curls, pull up, rows): 31min, 81 cal 2. Indoor Cycling: 48min, 591 cal, 146 avg HR
Aug. 05, 2026 (Wednesday) • Active Calories: 970/3058 kcal • Steps: 19,611 (16.6 km) • Resting HR: 50 bpm • Tracked Activities: 1. Strength Training (bench press, push-ups, sit up, lateral raises, curls, squats, deadlift): 1h 1min, 364 cal, 104 avg HR
Aug. 06, 2026 (Thursday) • Active Calories: 1024/3112 kcal • Steps: 15,317 (14.3 km) • Resting HR: 49 bpm • Tracked Activities: 1. Cross-Country Jog: 12.73 km, 1h 32min, (11:44 min/mile), 946 cal, 146 avg HR 2. Strength Training (bench press): 24min, 91 cal, 84 avg HR
Aug. 07, 2026 (Friday) • Active Calories: 1001/3089 kcal • Steps: 15,732 (14.8 km) • Resting HR: 50 bpm • Tracked Activities: 1. Jog: 6.21 km, 40min, (10:29 min/mile), 491 cal, 145 avg HR 2. Strength Training (bench press, curls, pull up, rows, squats): 1h 1min, 238 cal, 88 avg HR 3. Jog: 2.03 km, 15min, (11:53 min/mile), 141 cal, 123 avg HR
Aug. 08, 2026 (Saturday) • Active Calories: 941/3029 kcal • Steps: 20,477 (17.3 km) • Resting HR: 49 bpm • Tracked Activities:
Sauna 7/7 days
#5 — Jones | Rarestone Compass
Aug 3 - Aug 9
Monday Rest day
Tuesday Upper body workout (machine focused)
SM incline bench: 2 sets + rest pause set row machine (pin loaded): 2 sets + rest pause set Chest press machine (pin loaded) with neutral grip: 2 sets + rest pause set Farmer walk + shrugs: 2 sets Shoulder press machine (pin loaded): 1 set + rest pause set Rear delt cable flys: 2 sets Cable overhead tricep extensions: 2 sets + rest pause set preacher curls ùachine: 2 Sets
Wednesday Leg day
Leg curls: 2 sets + RP set Leg extensions: 2 sets + RP set Hip Ad/Abductor machine superset: 2 sets Leg press: 2 sets RDL: 2 sets Ab machine: 2 sets
Thursday rest day
Friday Upper body workout (free weight focused)
Bench press: 2 sets Pull ups: 2 sets + drop set Overhead press: 2 sets Machine row (upper back focused): 2 sets + RP set Chest fly machine: 1 set + RP set Rear delt cable flys: 2 sets Cable pushdowns with bench: 2 sets + drop set machine curls: 2 sets + drop set
Saturday rest day
Sunday Cardio
5x 400m sprints/2min walk on 1.5% incline
Averaging around 16k steps/day